7 Secrets of Spectacular Sex

7 Secrets of Spectacular Sex


Everyone wants better sex, but many of us have the wrong idea about how to make it happen. Here are the seven secrets to achieving a spectacular sex life.
One:- the first thing we need to understand is that, despite what television, movies and videos say, sex is an experience, not a performance. When we’re too self-conscious about how we’re doing it, we can’t enjoy what we’re doing or who we’re doing it with.

           We need to stop imagining that during sex we’re being rated for our skills. The truth is that technique is much less important than the connection we have with the other person. The better the connection, the better the sex, regardless of our technique or lack thereof.

Two:- sex is a dance in which both partners must take turns leading and following. Listening is the key, as knows when to take the initiative and when to let go of control. The more willing we are to participate in the dance, the better the sex will be.
Three:- comfort is everything. Feeling a bit vulnerable during sex can be exciting, but feeling too vulnerable can ruin an otherwise potentially good sexual experience. It’s crucial that each partner make a sincere effort to put the other person at ease so that both are in the mood for great sex.
          The key to comfort is mutual respect. Whether it’s a one-off encounter with no strings attached or a long-term, meaningful relationship, respecting each-other and valuing each-other as human beings will make sex more comfortable, and therefore more enjoyable.
Four:- like most things, sex is better with a sense of humor. When we can laugh at our awkward, clumsy moments, our missteps and ungainliness, and when we don’t judge our partner for theirs, we become more endearing to each-other and sex becomes sweeter and a lot less stressful.
Five:- good sex is all about communication. We need to be clear with the other person about what we like and don’t like, what we want and don’t want. Otherwise, we’re apt to be frustrated or irritated.
Being attracted to each-other doesn’t mean that we can read each-other’s minds. Expressing our likes and dislikes is part of creating the connection that leads to a more enjoyable sexual experience.
Six:- the best sex is a balance between being open to new experiences and true to ourselves. It’s great to try new things, or at least consider them, but we’re abandoning ourselves if we go along with something that feels wrong. We should never do anything in sex — including the choice to have sex — if it doesn’t feel like the right thing to do.
            It’s great to be adventurous in sex. It’s one of the few ways that we can abandon ourselves in the moment and let go of our “shoulds” and our inhibitions. The right partner and lots of trust and respect makes this possible. Still, even with the best partner, we need to heed our inner wisdom and know our limits. Good sex is about respecting our partner and being true to ourselves.
Seven:- great sex is all about giving and receiving. The best sex involves enjoying both the pleasure our partner is giving us and the fact that we’re giving our partner pleasure. Sex that’s one-sided is less fun for both partners. That’s not to say that on occasion one person can’t simply pleasure the other, but that ultimately, in great sex, both people’s needs are being met.
             A happy, fulfilling sex life is available to everyone. If we simply pay attention to these seven secrets, we’ll discover the sexual satisfaction that we’ve never previously experienced.

— Marcia Sirota MD
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A good talk is a great aphrodisiac

Many women find talk a great turn-on. For them, talking and feeling loved are very important. Good conversation during walks or while the couple is relaxing can be a great aphrodisiac. A man could tell his woman how much he loves her, which acts as a reassurance that he is with her mentally during those intimate moments.

Many women are anxious about their looks

For a couple that has been together for long, sometimes it is natural that women may feel that their partner may find them less alluring. Because of this some women undress only under the cover of darkness. Caring men can sense such anxieties. There is no need to lie and say she’s gorgeous if she isn’t, nor is there a need to say that she is not attractive anymore. One can always appreciate and praise what you do find attractive.

For a woman sex isn’t separate from rest of her life

On the other hand, men tend to compartmentalize, feeling that stressful aspects of life can be parked mentally and separated from sexual activity. Women need good feelings and experiences during the day to have satisfying sex. How her lover treats her out of bed, greatly influences her response in bed. Inattentiveness, harsh language, rude tones, hurtful words, and criticism can make it difficult for a woman to get involved, feel enthusiastic and be passionate during sex.

An orgasm is not a necessity

Many men feel that a good lover is one who can bring his woman to climactic sexual culmination. It is great to have such moments, but aren’t always essential. Many women feel pressure from partners and even from themselves to reach an orgasm. Sometimes instead of having orgasms, women prefer to engage in just foreplay.

Sex need not be a serious act

Playfulness is a great quality. Many men are far too serious about sex. They forget to laugh, be romantically mischievous, have fun. Playfulness and light-heartedness can make intimate moments enjoyable and relaxing. This takes performance pressure off from both partners.

Women cherish non-sexual touching and tenderness

Women love romance, cuddling, hand-holding and kissing. But many women complain that their men never do this except during foreplay. A woman should make her man realise the joy of touching. As you give him a relaxing massage and stroke his face and hair tenderly, he starts experiencing the joy of this kind of non-sexual touching. Tell your man what makes you feel loved and wanted.

Warm attention after sex is important


A woman’s need for tender moments goes beyond the actual lovemaking. Some women complain that men fall asleep immediately after the act. It is true that when a man is having sex, his endorphin level is very high. Almost immediately after ejaculation, he goes through a refractory phase where he loses his erection and all his systems gear down. In females this phase happens gradually. However, if you don’t like him falling asleep immediately, tell him without putting him down. Alternatively, let him sleep in your arms for a few minutes and gently wake him up afterwards.
                                                                                                                                                                                       — Dr Rajan B Bhonsle

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